BREAKING NEWS: Melbourne Storms Reacts in Shock as Head Coach Craig Bellamy makes Surprising Decision Announcing that captain Harry Grant has been made the new….see more
Surrounded by confused reporters and Storm players who appeared just as stunned as the public, Bellamy stepped up to the microphone and declared:
“Effective immediately, Harry Grant has been appointed the club’s new… Director of Aggressive Politeness.”
Gasps rippled across the room.
Harry Grant: Calm, Confused, and Now Aggressively Polite
Grant, who stood nearby wearing a puzzled but respectful smile, later admitted that he had only learned about his new role approximately seven minutes before the announcement.
“Craig told me the team needed someone who could yell encouragement aggressively… like, really aggressively,” Grant explained. “I didn’t know that was a job, but here we are.”
Bellamy clarified that the decision came after reviewing match footage:
“Harry’s the only bloke I’ve ever seen say ‘please’ while tackling someone into the turf,” Bellamy said. “We need more of that energy.”
Team Reactions
Sources say several Storm players exchanged bewildered looks during the announcement. One player reportedly whispered:
“Is this like… a promotion? Or a cry for help?”
Another joked that Grant might now be responsible for:
- Politely yelling at players during training
- Enforcing mandatory pre-game compliments
- Starting each team meeting by shouting “THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE!”
Bellamy Justifies the Move
Bellamy remained firm and serious about the appointment.
“We’re always adapting. Some teams tweak their defensive structure. We’re boosting our courtesy-to-chaos ratio.”
He added that Grant’s new responsibility would include overseeing an “elite manners program” for rookies entering the squad.
Fans Already Running With It
Within minutes of the announcement, social media exploded with hashtags including:
- #PoliteStorm
- #GrantTheGentle
- #BellamyLostIt
A fan-edited photo of Harry Grant wearing a superhero cape labeled “Captain Courtesy” has already gone viral.
What Comes Next?
The Storm are expected to hold another press conference this afternoon where Grant will reportedly reveal his first official policy: mandatory team-wide group hugs after every set of six.
