BREAKING NEWS: Newcastle Knights Reacts in Shock as Head Coach Justin Holbrook makes Surprising Decision Announcing that captain Kalyn Ponga has been made the new….see more
With reporters packed into the room and speculation running wild, Holbrook stepped to the podium, cleared his throat, and declared:
“As of today, Kalyn Ponga has been appointed the new… Team Culture Enhancement & Spontaneous Vibes Director.”
The room fell silent.
Players in attendance exchanged confused glances. One journalist reportedly muttered, “Is that even a position?” Another frantically began Googling “Vibes Director” as if it were a legitimate sporting role.
Ponga Responds
Kalyn Ponga, standing beside Holbrook with a bewildered smile, admitted he first heard about the new title just minutes before the announcement.
“Holbs said he wanted to optimise morale,” Ponga explained. “I thought he meant, you know… a speech or something. Not a whole job.”
When asked what the responsibilities of a “Vibes Director” would include, Holbrook elaborated:
“Maintaining peak dressing room energy, monitoring pre-game playlist selections, and issuing weekly ‘vibe reports’ to the coaching staff.”
Players React
Sources say several Knights players are “cautiously optimistic,” though one veteran reportedly asked whether this means Ponga now has authority over who controls the team speaker.
Another player was overheard whispering, “If he starts rating our energy with emojis, I’m out.”
Holbrook Defends His Choice
Holbrook insisted the decision was strategic:
“We’re always looking for innovative ways to boost performance. Some teams hire extra analysts, but we’re focusing on spiritual momentum.”
What’s Next?
The club later confirmed that Ponga will retain his captaincy and his new title, making him the first NRL player in history to officially oversee both on-field leadership and ‘vibes management.’
