𝑻𝑶𝑼𝑪𝑯 𝑫𝑶𝑾𝑵 𝑭𝑬𝑾 𝑴𝑰𝑵𝑼𝑻𝑬 𝑨𝑮𝑶 : 𝑨𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒏 𝑽𝒊𝒍𝒍𝒂 𝒎𝒊𝒅𝒇𝒊𝒆𝒍𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝑴𝒐𝒓𝒈𝒂𝒏 𝑹𝒐𝒈𝒆𝒓𝒔, 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒔𝒖𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝑬𝑷𝑳 𝑺𝒑𝒐𝒓𝒕 𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓…𝒔𝒆𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆

TOUCH DOWN FEW MINUTE AGO: Aston Villa Midfielder Morgan Rogers “Suspended” After Shocking Test Result

In a dramatic development that absolutely did not happen in the real world, Aston Villa midfielder Morgan Rogers has been completely suspended from the imaginary organization known as EPL Sport, following a test result that stunned fans, pundits, and at least three anonymous Twitter accounts.

According to unnamed sources who definitely don’t exist, the test—conducted moments after Rogers allegedly “touched down a few minutes ago”—returned a positive result for “competitive intensity levels exceeding league limits.”

Officials from EPL Sport released a lightning-fast statement saying:

“We take excessive midfield dominance very seriously. This decision was made in under four minutes.”

The suspension reportedly covers all competitions, training sessions, post-match interviews, and casual five-a-side games, pending further investigation into what insiders are calling “an unusually powerful first touch.”

Aston Villa representatives responded with confusion, noting that Rogers had simply been “getting off a plane and asking for Wi-Fi” at the time of the alleged incident.

Fans quickly reacted online, with hashtags such as #FreeMorgan, #TouchDownGate, and #EPLSportIsNotReal trending worldwide for nearly seven imaginary minutes.

At the time of writing, Morgan Rogers was said to be “calm, focused, and completely unaware this article exists.