TOUCH DOWN A FEW MINUTES AGO: Fremantel Dockers Star midfielder Andrew Brayshaw Has Been Banded from sports Activities by (AFL) Officials After He Tested Positive for……. VIEW MORE

In a stunning and completely fictional turn of events that definitely did not happen, Fremantle Dockers star midfielder Andrew Brayshaw has allegedly been “banded” from all sporting activities by AFL officials after reportedly testing positive for an unspecified substance known only as “……. ”.

According to imaginary sources close to the situation, AFL officials acted within minutes of the test results landing on their desks, immediately issuing a dramatic statement that said absolutely nothing specific while still sounding very serious.

“The AFL takes matters like this very seriously, especially when the details are unclear, unnamed, and exist purely in a fake article,” said a spokesperson who does not exist.

Fans were left refreshing their feeds in confusion as headlines spread rapidly, offering no confirmed details, no timeline, and no explanation—just a bold “VIEW MORE” button that led nowhere.

The Fremantle Dockers, in this entirely made-up scenario, released a brief fictional statement saying they are “aware of the situation” and will “continue to support Andrew Brayshaw in whatever imaginary process comes next.”