𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗦 𝗜𝗦 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗕𝗘𝗦𝗧 𝗡𝗘𝗪𝗦 𝗪𝗘 𝗖𝗢𝗨𝗟𝗗 𝗛𝗢𝗣𝗘 𝗙𝗢𝗥: 𝗚𝗲𝗲𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝗰𝗮𝘁𝘀 𝗔𝘂𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗹𝗶𝗮𝗻𝘀 𝗙𝗼𝗼𝘁𝗯𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗴𝘂𝗲 𝗔𝗙𝗟 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗺𝘂𝗻𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗔𝗿𝗲 𝗢𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗷𝗼𝘆𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝘀 𝗛𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝗖𝗼𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝗖𝗵𝗿𝗶𝘀 𝗦𝗰𝗼𝘁𝘁 𝗠𝗮𝗸𝗲𝘀 𝗔𝗻𝗻𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗰𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗠𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗛𝗼𝗼𝗸𝗲𝗿 𝗧𝗼𝗺 𝗦𝘁𝗲𝘄𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝘄 𝗭……𝘃𝗶𝗲𝘄 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲

In scenes rarely witnessed outside premiership celebrations and half-price pie nights at GMHBA Stadium, the Geelong Cats community has erupted with joy following a surprise announcement from senior coach Chris Scott late Tuesday afternoon.

Speaking to media after what was initially advertised as a “routine football update,” Scott dropped a bombshell that instantly sent shockwaves through the AFL world: star intercept defender and fan favourite Tom Stewart has been appointed the club’s brand-new “Zoning Tsar” — a role Scott described as “revolutionary, strategic, and extremely Tom.”

“Yes, it’s unconventional,” Scott said, barely suppressing a grin. “But Tom already lives in space no one else understands. We’re just formalising it.”

A Role Made for Stewart

The newly created position will see Stewart take full ownership of Geelong’s defensive zoning structures, opposition ball movement disruption, and — according to Scott — “anything else beginning with the letter Z that helps us win games.”

“Zones, zigs, zags — Tom sees it all before it happens,” Scott added. “Most players read the play. Tom reads the future.”

Stewart, who looked mildly confused but honoured during the announcement, said he was “happy to help wherever the club needs.”

“I thought I was just coming in for video review,” Stewart said. “Next thing I know I’m a Tsar. I had to Google it.”

Fans Declare It “Flag-Winning Energy”

Within minutes of the announcement, Cats supporters flooded social media with praise, memes, and premature premiership predictions.

“This is elite thinking,” wrote one fan. “Give him the Z, give us the cup.”

Another simply posted: “Tom Stewart. Z. Enough said.”

Club insiders report that the move has already lifted morale at training, with defenders allegedly standing taller, midfielders kicking flatter, and at least one assistant coach heard whispering, “This changes everything.”